Cease and Desist Order #1

To: Rod Stewart, Barry Manilow
From: the SilentGriot
cc: the music-loving public
Subject: Stop the Atrocities!

Okay, guys, I get it. You are not just rock stars, you are "artistes". (Well, in your case, Barry, you are not just a pop star -- "rock star" doesn't really describe you.) That is why you insist on inflicting your insipid versions of other people's songs on us, isn't it? I mean, why else would you insist on covering songs that other people have done better, especially classic songs from the past?

Rod, I blame you for this. I agree, there is a timeless beauty to the old standards from the days before rock and roll. Even though I did not like piano lessons when I was a child, I derived a great deal of pleasure playing Deep Purple or Gershwin's Our Love is Here to Stay. Hell, I even sang along sometimes. I understand your appreciation of the old standards. But really, Rod, did you have to record your Great American Songbook albums?

Come to think of it, did you really have to record Broken Arrow, People Get Ready, or What a Wonderful World either? Don't get me wrong, I love each of these songs. Its just, you don't do them very well. Your versions of these songs are tired, uninspired, and, quite frankly, soulless. Considering the oomph you put in your best works -- your original works when you were starting out -- you really run the risk of becoming a caricature of the entertainer you used to be.

And Barry, what sort of cockamamy thought process resulted in your take on the Greatest Hits of the Sixties? Did you really think that the world needs a weak-voiced, poorly phrased version of Can't Take My Eyes Off of You? Does anyone need any version of What the World Needs Now Is Love?

Gentlemen, if you are such fans of the music as you say you are, please limit yourselves to either listening to them in private or to recommending the original versions to interested parties. Please do not continue to commit the musical equivalent of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre on these beautiful songs.