The Down Side of Friendship

One difference between the griot at home in Canada and the griot here in Tanzania is that I have been far more ready to accept people as "friends". Back home, I think I defined friends far too restrictively. Here, some people became friends on the very first day we met.

There is a down side, though, to having friends. Over the past week, I have found myself going through a ritual that has been surprisingly sad. As friends depart for home or other countries, I delete their numbers from my cell phone. What was once a very filled contact list is constricting back to its original form: two phone numbers for Janet, a number for the orphanage and one for the director, a number for the Canadian High Commission, a number for my bank, and a number for the insurance company.

Once, my contact list included numbers of friends, but they have all left. Amanda is back in the United States. Antonio left for Europe. Betsy and Sarah have been home for a while, as are Marla and the other Sarah. Deepa has been back in Canada for over a month. Hannah is en route to the United Kingdom via North Africa. Liz is in Nairobi and thence back to the United States. Sukh is en route to Canada via Ghana and Europe.

In a way, it has been good to remove the numbers as my friends depart. It has gotten me used to the idea that I too will be heading home soon. It's kind of like Labour Day and how it tells you that summer is finally over.